rain_and_snow | (no subject)

Doctor today tells me I have tachycardia and bigeminy. Which basically means my heart goes really fast, and is arrhythmic. Wiki was somewhat helpful with defining bigeminy. (Apparently it's bi-gemini, rather than big-e-miny :( ) When I looked at the ECG it seemed pretty normal to me - a big beat followed by a little one. Bloods were all good. My blood pressure is fine. My pulse has been high for at least the last four or five years. The ECG showed 114, today at the doctors around the same, and usually somewhere around 90 (when I'm not anxious). It's something of a relief that they actually caught my heart being weird on record. Doctor suspects the imipramine I'm on. I'm not so sure I agree with her. But the point is that the stupid-heart-stuff could be what's causing the vertigo, and possibly the extreme tiredness (not getting enough oxygen to the brain).

I really hope it's not the imipramine. In that case it will be a choice between being tired and dizzy, or freaked out.

In other but somewhat related news, I'm probably over-experiencing emotion. Given I've not had emotions for about four years, didn't really express them before that, and only started to 'feel' again over the last two years, it's more than overwhelming. If I cry at you, it's probably an over-reaction. Or just me being terribly confused. I'm worried, because I don't really have anyone from whom I can model positive expression of emotion. And if I mess up with the experiencing/expressing emotion thing this time, I'm not sure I'm really going to be able to give it a go in the same way for a very long time.