rain_and_snow (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rain_and_snow) wrote2010-09-11 11:53 pm
rain_and_snow) wrote2010-09-11 11:53 pm
(no subject)
Interesting the effect reading about the experiences of other people who have been sexually harassed at work, usually by managers/supervisors/bosses. I didn't expect to respond to it so strongly.
Getting really frustrated about being unable to concentrate. I really need to write this essay.
Not really sure about what I actually want.
A year ago, I wanted children *right now*, and was prepared to have them by being pregnant myself.
Now, I'm back to NOT AT ALL. To the pregnant, rather than the children. I don't *want* them, but I wouldn't mind.
But I'm not sure where that leaves me, as all I've imagined for the last couple of years is graduating, getting a job, and starting a family. With me as a mother until they were old enough for school. I'm not sure I want that now. But it doesn't leave me with anything to want instead, so I'm a bit lost.
I want to be the person who can welcome someone in, feed them and give them somewhere to sleep. But at the same time I go 'what if they steal my stuff?'. I don't really have all that much worth stealing, but it's the hassle of replacing things, and my incredible emotional attachments to objects.
When people ask for money, mostly all I can say is 'sorry'. I feel like I need the money to pay rent and buy food for myself. But at least I have somewhere to live and some food in the cupboard. Should I give it to them? Would it even help?
Goodness, I want to graduate. To graduate I need to write this essay. To write this essay I need to be able to read.
:(
On a brighter note, it seems that the drama at work has been calmed down. There haven't been any snarky notes for two weeks, and our supervisor talked to the manager about it.
Getting really frustrated about being unable to concentrate. I really need to write this essay.
Not really sure about what I actually want.
A year ago, I wanted children *right now*, and was prepared to have them by being pregnant myself.
Now, I'm back to NOT AT ALL. To the pregnant, rather than the children. I don't *want* them, but I wouldn't mind.
But I'm not sure where that leaves me, as all I've imagined for the last couple of years is graduating, getting a job, and starting a family. With me as a mother until they were old enough for school. I'm not sure I want that now. But it doesn't leave me with anything to want instead, so I'm a bit lost.
I want to be the person who can welcome someone in, feed them and give them somewhere to sleep. But at the same time I go 'what if they steal my stuff?'. I don't really have all that much worth stealing, but it's the hassle of replacing things, and my incredible emotional attachments to objects.
When people ask for money, mostly all I can say is 'sorry'. I feel like I need the money to pay rent and buy food for myself. But at least I have somewhere to live and some food in the cupboard. Should I give it to them? Would it even help?
Goodness, I want to graduate. To graduate I need to write this essay. To write this essay I need to be able to read.
:(
On a brighter note, it seems that the drama at work has been calmed down. There haven't been any snarky notes for two weeks, and our supervisor talked to the manager about it.
no subject
Also, there's a uni-survey making the rounds at the moment about sexual harrassment. If you have a moment you might ask one of your union reps about it. If you have union reps worth a damn...
no subject
Or a general union thing?